While searching through the old glassie archives, I found this bit of nonsense
Well, our national newspapers have done it again. They have reached into the archives of the mid 1970’s to pull out the letter ‘O’.
Years ago there appeared to exist a kind of alphabetical terror code that filled folk with fear and trepidation. The second world war started the whole process with the ‘A’ bomb. Followed by the evacuation of troops on ‘D’ day. The ‘H’ bomb soon reared its ugly head. Thankfully there was a light hearted and refreshing interlude, when, courtesy of the James Bond movies we became acquainted with ‘M’ and ‘Q‘.
This was the start of the A to Z phenomena becoming completely out of sync. We’ve had ‘X’ men movies, Mr.’T’, the ‘A’ Team. ’C’ Change and more recently, the scourge of our country, ‘P’. There has been an attempt by true Kiwis to start at the beginning again by finishing every sentence with ‘A’, ‘A’. This attempt failed miserably when the powers that ‘B’ decided to christen the youth of today, The ‘Y’ generation. (‘Y’ ? )
Before I reveal the significance of the letter ‘O’ try this small exercise, it will help you with texting & yor skul wrk wil gt tp mrks b coz no 1 wnt 2 no ow 2 spel ne mor.
“A, B, C D goldfish?”
“M N O goldfish”
“S A R, C D B D eyes”
Now, if you successfully deciphered this cryptic message you have joined the ‘Y’ generation, and I can now warn you of the media plot to re-visit the letter ‘O’.
I refer, of course to the ‘O’ Zone. Yes, it’s back! That hole in the sky where ultra violet rays are tumbling through, en masse to attack unsuspecting Kiwis.
I find it more than a little coincidental that at this time of year the letter ‘O’ drifts menacingly across the pages of our national newspapers. Note the following from NZ Herald…1/10/04 ‘Ozone hole over Antarctica poses risk for New Zealanders this summer’…..17/11/05 ‘NIWA research said that the Ozone hole over the Antarctic was relatively large and it’s intensity nearly as high as it’s ever been’…..24/9/06 ‘Record Ozone event’.
Have you noticed that this naughty Ozone hole favours the Antarctic region and actually has done since the beginning of time.
Now, my theory is this. When Emperor Penguins get in huddles, up close and personal, they have a huge problem with body odour. To counteract this annual event they are using copious amounts of spray deodorant. Polar bears are not blameless in the matter of releasing harmful CFC’s into the atmosphere. Flies, yes, nasty blow flies invading snow caves. Polar bears think it is really cool to grab the Mortein and zap the buzzy things.
We must protect ourselves from the burning summer sunshine, that’s for sure, but do we need all the fear mongering? The so called Ozone hole, we are told, is 3000km. Long and 200km wide, give me a break!
When I was a young fellow, our local village ran a ‘Country Fayre’, a wonderful English tradition and a chance to make a few shillings from a cake stall or coconut shy. We came up with a wheeze that for very little outlay would make us rich. We put a sign outside a small tent, inside the tent we placed a chair. People paid us half a crown to walk through the tent, look at the empty chair, then exit at the other end. We had them queuing all day to ‘Come And See The Invisible Man’. What has this got to do with the so called Ozone hole? We are all being taken for a ride, ‘A’.
Half a crown to see The Invisible Man? Must have been worth five bob at least!
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