Overheard in the bedroom

The deep, guttural laugh was coming from the large patterned trunk at the base of the bed.
‘And what is so amusing’? questioned the Tallboy, who was standing on the wall opposite the window.
‘I got him again,’ chuckled the Box Ottoman, ‘last night when he came back from paying a little call, he left all the lights off, fumbled for the bedroom door, walked too close to the bottom of the bed and whamo !! I got him again’.
‘You certainly did’, said the Dressing table, not wanting to be left out of the conversation, ‘The last time I heard that kind of language was when he was demonstrating the John Clease silly walk to his kids……’
The drapes, who had just been hanging around, were drawn into the conversation, ‘Oh yes, I remember, I do remember, he did that high kick thing, swung round too fast and broke two toes on the……..’
‘Tell us’, interjected the Bedside cabinet,
‘I am telling you!!’
‘No,’ boomed the Tallboy, ‘he means it was the Tellus, he kicked the Tellus vacuum cleaner, it was right behind him, talk about bend it like Beckham, he fell on the floor in agony, the kids fell on the floor laughing and the Mistress had to drive him up to A and E.
‘Funnily enough,’ boasted the Ottoman, keen to get the story off his chest, ‘Funnily enough, I do believe the Mister broke his little toe last night, in fact,’ he continued, ‘the way he was hopping around on one foot he would have done justice to dancing with the stars’.
‘He probably saw stars’, reflected the Full length Mirror.
‘I could have helped’, a muffled comment from the Bed Cover,
‘How?’ they chorused,
‘I could have removed his hurt’.
‘What rubbish,’ retorted the Ottoman, ‘You are just a plain old Bed Cover’
‘That’s all you know, you…you… box of stuffed blankets’, Bed Cover, knew she‘d fluffed it and tried again, ‘You blanket box of …er stuff…’
The Drapes pulled themselves together and sided with the Bed Cover
‘There’s nothing plain about that cover’, they protested, ‘she matches us beautifully, we go together, everyone likes us, the pillows are always chatting about how alike we are….’
‘You’ve heard pillow talk’? mumbled the Tallboy, adjusting his drawers.
‘We certainly have and they say that Ottoman is as useless as those fancy coloured, round pouf thingies that the mistress insists on putting on top of them.
‘You’re a pouf’ said Ottoman,
‘Well’, interrupted the Dressing table, ‘I am afraid I have to agree with Drapes and Bedcover. My drawers are full to bursting, the Mistress is always trying to keep the Mister’s clothes tidy but he fires them into me, willy nilly, socks all miss matched, pullovers folded the wrong way, bits of paper, loose change and golf tees stuffed into my little top drawers. I tell you the poor lady is fighting a loosing battle’.
‘What’s your point?’, an indignant Ottoman.
‘My point is that you have all that inner space pathetically half loaded with a couple of old, never used blankets, you are more ornament than use and you are quite capable of taking your share of my overcrowded drawers…. And, as the Mister discovered, your feet stick out!!’
‘You are forgetting,’ said Ottoman, almost blowing his lid, ‘You are all forgetting, that I am beautiful’.
The whole bedroom was in an uproar, the dining table and chairs could hear the laughter from the other end of the house. The full length mirror got all misty, the Dressing table laughed so hard two of her knobs fell off and the books got shaken off the Bedside cabinet
It was Tallboy who managed to calm the situation.
‘Listen, you guys, it seems to me that this has got completely out of hand. It all started when Bedcover made a highly questionable statement, so we will give her an opportunity to explain herself and then perhaps we can settle back to normal.’ ‘Bedcover,’ Tallboys voice of authority, ‘Can you please furnish us with a plausible explanation as to how exactly you are able to take away the Mister’s hurt?’
‘I’m a counterpane’!!